2 Year Old Courage

I’ve been a parent for a little more than 8 years. That’s not very long. However, cramming five kids (I call them “The Skinnies”) into those 8 years has forced my wife and me to maneuver our way through a very fast, very steep learning curve. One of the things I’m learning is that children can be surprisingly astute. Once in a while, one of The Skinnies will say something that stops me in my tracks and pulls me into an introspective look at myself and the way I’m living my life. Their untainted outlook on life is truly refreshing and it often produces profoundly simple words of wisdom. Last night my youngest son provided a classic example of this.

The kids were all in their jammies, teeth brushed, and I had just finished reading them a short Bible story on the floor of our family room. My son started to run down the hall into his bedroom intending to get his favorite toy tiger (pronounced “tie-goo”). When he realized that the hall was dark, and his bedroom was at the other end of all that darkness, he paused. He turned to me and following conversation ensued:

Son: “Daddy, are you scared of the dark?”
Me: “Nope. There’s nothing to be scared of in our house, dude”
Son: “Is my brother scared of the dark?”
Me: “Sometimes he is, yes.”
Son: “I’m scared of the dark, but when I get scared of it, I just go through it”
Me: “That’s really good, dude. You have a very brave heart!”
Son: “Yup”

When I’m scared, I just go through it. My wife and I just shared a smile and shook our heads. We agreed that we could both use a little bit of that kind of courage in our own hearts. What my son doesn’t know (thank God he can’t read yet!) is that I do get scared, fearful and anxious. Frankly, it happens more frequently than I’m allowed to show on the mannish façade I have to prop up every day. And the next time I’m faced with something I fear, I hope his words come to my mind. I hope I can face my fears as valiantly as he does, some day.

It's Only Lunch Time

She’s not here
So I ask the question
How much longer until I get to go home?
Emails
Phone Calls
Customers
The inbox is filling up
But I don’t really care what any of those silly CCing senders have to say
Not right now
Cause She’s not here
I’m focused on the clocks
On the wall
Two time zones tick by
Slowly
Simultaneously Stubborn
Stretching the day out in front of me on a treadmilling horizon
Making me
Ask the question
‘Cause She’s not here
There’s something about her presence
You want to get close
When she’s there
You want to stay close
When she’s here
But she’s not here
So I ask the question
I take a bite of the lunch she lovingly prepared
Early
Sleepy
While the other 5 needers slept, she served the oldest, fattest, meanest one
Just like every other yesterday
Before today
Then I left and came here
But only part of me
The inside part stayed there and the robot part drove here
33.6 miles away
One way
And so I ask the question
‘Cause she’s not here
All the little needy needers get to stay and see
Touch
And Be
Those shrimpy little bandits
She smiles and lets them take, seize, capture
The very same time I watch on my walls from here
Wanting to be there
And so I ask the question
‘Cause she’s not here
How much longer until I get to go home?
I guess I’ll go back
To inboxing
And spreadsheeting
Until the tick and the tock of my time has come
33.6 more miles
One Way
And she’ll be there